It also helps, of course, that the third floor common room is currently empty. Gonou had chosen a spot near the door; when an older man walks in, glancing around, he smiles and gets to his feet.
He's tall, skinny, and barely twenty; his clothes are plain, shirt clearly home-dyed a slightly streaky dark green. The black leather eye patch he's wearing over his right eye spoils the poor scholar effect slightly, as do the three silver earrings in his left ear.
"Mr. Lensherr?" he asks in a light tenor. "I'm Cho Gonou, your new warden. A pleasure to meet you."
"Twenty-one last September." He tilts his head, remaining eye glinting with amusement at Erik. "What do you prefer I call you, then? I'm a little more accustomed to formality, but I can be flexible."
"Almost twenty-one and a half. Well. They are fucking with me, aren't they? My name is Erik; you can use that." He drops into a nearby chair. "Do you have any questions for me? Or how is this... process going to look?"
"If I were you, I'd be more concerned about the fact that I graduated two weeks ago than about my age," Gonou murmurs, spreading his hands in the tiniest sketch of a shrug. "But I think it would be easiest for us to begin by getting to know one another. I think I'll begin with my primary rule: no violence beyond self-defense, please. What do you want from a Warden, Erik? Beyond middle age. I'm afraid I can't provide that."
"That's just Lark," Gonou assures him. "One to two years is far more common. So. I don't have your file; no one will until you're permanently assigned. Why do you think the Admiral decided you should be an inmate?
"Do feel free to ask me personal questions as well," he adds, lightly. "If you're curious."
Or - as he clearly is - distrustful. Or simply unimpressed with Gonou's youth.
"Two years is a little more time than I was planning on investing, so if they could send me a Warden that knows how to do the job, that would be super," Erik tells him. He considers the boy for a moment. "Does the Admiral have something specific in mind for everyone?"
"I think for each inmate there's a reason," Gonou says slowly, choosing to politely ignore the slight. "Some of them more obvious than others. I'm a mass murderer, for example.
"But we've had poisoners, pirates, unethical scientists, murderous generals, bombers... I think each of us has done some harm, and has the capacity to do it again if we don't change.
"The Admiral won't answer questions about what you might need to change, so if he does have something specific in mind, you could waste more than just two years trying to guess. Better to ask yourself for the reason. You know who you are and what you've done."
"My sister and I were orphans who lived together in a small village," Gonou says, slowly: it's the first time he's tried telling this story to someone who he didn't know well enough to guess how they'd take it, and there's a hint of wariness lingering in his gaze as he speaks.
Still, although he's choosing his words with care, he doesn't hesitate.
"A -- troop of warriors came to town, from a local warlord's clan, looking for pretty young women for him. I was away from home, and our neighbors, not wanting their sisters or daughters to be hurt... let them take the girl who had no family. Except me.
"When I got home and they told me, I killed them all. Then I went after her, and killed the whole clan before I was done."
"A thousand. A respectable number. And when you discovered it was for nothing, did you kill a thousand more or did you stop?" Erik asks with interest. Maybe he knows a little something about this sort of thing.
"Well, at that point, they were almost all dead," Gonou murmurs. "And the last man I killed near gutted me. I don't know if I'd have kept going if I hadn't been injured; I came here... not long afterwards."
"I did wonder how I ever would. But in the end... I think the question of atonement was getting in my way," he murmurs, turning his hands up in a tiny sketch of a shrug. "Because there's no fair payment that anyone can truly make for a life. And even now, I'm not sure I'd be willing to pay for some of the lives I took; I do think some of them deserved to die."
Others had been genuinely innocent of all but association -- or guilty of things that did not deserve death. But there's no meaningful atonement he can make for the lives that he regrets taking, no more than there is for the lives he doesn't regret.
"Rather than atonement, I needed to learn how to become someone with a better control of my... passions."
"I didn't expect it when it happened," Gonou says, with a slight tip of his head. "Some inmates do, it seems, some don't; and some think they're ready far before they graduate.
"But none of us go to the Admiral with proof to be graduated. It seems he makes those decisions on his own. It's likely safe to assume you're being observed on some level all the time."
His tone is slightly dry on that; he certainly doesn't appreciate the idea, but he can't see any other way that the Admiral would know.
"If you're looking for a practical guide... a considerable amount of meditation, yes. A commitment to addressing my feelings rather than dwelling on them in private. Friendship and trusted mentors."
"Probably. Most of my conversations happened with my warden and others here I care for - I never went to the counseling office myself. Kiryu is trustworthy, though."
He tilts his head slightly, considering Erik.
"But, again... what each of us needs will be individual. Necessarily. It's very annoying, but there's no one way to be better."
"That's convenient for you, though, isn't it? Wardens don't have to actually be any good at graduating inmates. If it doesn't work out, nobody blames you," Erik points out. "And you're not the ones trapped by it. It doesn't seem like there's much incentive at all to take Warden's duties seriously."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 18 Jan 2023 19:28 (UTC)[Erik heads there, glancing around as he steps inside. He assumes this person knows what he looks like.]
no subject
Date: 18 Jan 2023 19:46 (UTC)He's tall, skinny, and barely twenty; his clothes are plain, shirt clearly home-dyed a slightly streaky dark green. The black leather eye patch he's wearing over his right eye spoils the poor scholar effect slightly, as do the three silver earrings in his left ear.
"Mr. Lensherr?" he asks in a light tenor. "I'm Cho Gonou, your new warden. A pleasure to meet you."
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Date: 18 Jan 2023 19:56 (UTC)"I'm fairly certain you don't have to call me 'Mr'... Warden." He considers the man for a second. "Please tell me you're older than you look."
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Date: 18 Jan 2023 20:04 (UTC)no subject
Date: 18 Jan 2023 20:16 (UTC)no subject
Date: 18 Jan 2023 21:17 (UTC)no subject
Date: 18 Jan 2023 22:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: 18 Jan 2023 23:33 (UTC)"Do feel free to ask me personal questions as well," he adds, lightly. "If you're curious."
Or - as he clearly is - distrustful. Or simply unimpressed with Gonou's youth.
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Date: 21 Jan 2023 19:28 (UTC)no subject
Date: 21 Jan 2023 21:57 (UTC)"But we've had poisoners, pirates, unethical scientists, murderous generals, bombers... I think each of us has done some harm, and has the capacity to do it again if we don't change.
"The Admiral won't answer questions about what you might need to change, so if he does have something specific in mind, you could waste more than just two years trying to guess. Better to ask yourself for the reason. You know who you are and what you've done."
no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2023 18:00 (UTC)cw kidnapping, allusion to sexual assault
Date: 22 Jan 2023 18:10 (UTC)Still, although he's choosing his words with care, he doesn't hesitate.
"A -- troop of warriors came to town, from a local warlord's clan, looking for pretty young women for him. I was away from home, and our neighbors, not wanting their sisters or daughters to be hurt... let them take the girl who had no family. Except me.
"When I got home and they told me, I killed them all. Then I went after her, and killed the whole clan before I was done."
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Date: 22 Jan 2023 18:13 (UTC)no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2023 18:20 (UTC)He's meeting Erik's gaze evenly; it's an effort to keep his voice from skewing challenging or defensive, but he's doing his best.
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Date: 22 Jan 2023 18:45 (UTC)no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2023 18:51 (UTC)He shrugs. "So: that was my crime."
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Date: 22 Jan 2023 19:01 (UTC)"And how did you atone for such a wide-ranging crime of passion?" he asks.
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Date: 22 Jan 2023 19:21 (UTC)Others had been genuinely innocent of all but association -- or guilty of things that did not deserve death. But there's no meaningful atonement he can make for the lives that he regrets taking, no more than there is for the lives he doesn't regret.
"Rather than atonement, I needed to learn how to become someone with a better control of my... passions."
no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2023 19:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2023 19:33 (UTC)"But none of us go to the Admiral with proof to be graduated. It seems he makes those decisions on his own. It's likely safe to assume you're being observed on some level all the time."
His tone is slightly dry on that; he certainly doesn't appreciate the idea, but he can't see any other way that the Admiral would know.
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Date: 22 Jan 2023 21:02 (UTC)no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2023 21:15 (UTC)He meets Erik's gaze, absolutely deadpan.
"And knitting. I haven't tried crochet."
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Date: 23 Jan 2023 22:46 (UTC)no subject
Date: 23 Jan 2023 22:59 (UTC)He tilts his head slightly, considering Erik.
"But, again... what each of us needs will be individual. Necessarily. It's very annoying, but there's no one way to be better."
no subject
Date: 23 Jan 2023 23:02 (UTC)(no subject)
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